Ignorant
by obsessive-elphaba
Summary: In truth, he did have feelings. He just didn't know what they were or how to express them. SaiIno-Oneshot.


Ignorance

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_Summary: In truth, he did have feelings. He just didn't know what they were or how to express them._

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No one understood him; that was something he could understand. He had noted so many times while taking notes that no one else took notes on people's emotions. At one point they said he would be a great therapist because he didn't have a bias in the first place. Later they said he could be a non-fiction writer because it took no emotion at all to write down simple fact. Fiction was creative and lively and descriptive - everything he was not. They later decided he should just stick with drawing.

In truth, Sai really trusted that he did have feelings. The problem was that he didn't know what they were. He didn't know what "bad" was like, so that made him incapable of feeling sad and mad as well. This ignorance he held in the category made him undeniably unable to express these emotions bundled up inside of him.

Sai knew he was passionate. One could tell by just looking at his drawings. He was very fond of his sketchbook. He even had a certain way of thinking when he drew. His thought process was too _flow_. It was to not make a sound. It was too focus on nothing other than his picture.

He might not know of his feelings, but he knew that he was imaginative. Sometimes when he was drawing the sky, a picture would appear. Birds would fly, chirping ever so merrily. Children would play and laugh - whether it was funny or not. The children were familiar to him as well.

The first child was himself. His plastic smile forever glued onto his face. His hand was holding the other child's. She was different than him. Her smiles were real, he could tell. She might have an imagination, but maybe not one as deranged as his own. She had feelings - she'd list them every day. She hated people - even inanimate objects such as clothes or jewelry. Or she could love them. One time she said she loved him, and for a split second he could've sworn he almost _felt _something as well.

Then the feeling was gone again. She always seemed to make that happen, and he took to spending more of his free time around her. He honestly _wanted _to know these feelings he was sure lay within him. Sometimes he felt that he was close to it, but it died down always too soon to properly examine them.

"What are you doing, Sai-kun?" There she was, standing in front of him. He looked up from his sketch book and put that smile on his face. He did want to really smile, but he didn't know how.

"I'm just drawing, Ms. Beautiful," he replied in his dull meaningless voice.

Without even asking, she took his book and flipped through the pages. Plopping herself down next to him she gave them each a careful once-over. He was a bit surprised as she grew quiet and studied the pictures more careful. "Sai, why did you draw a picture of a storm in the middle of sunshine?" He would've responded that he hadn't drawn that today, but she continued, "It's obviously been bathed in the sun because it's a crisp as it is, but... It's just... sad." Sai's ears pricked up at the word. She flipped the page to find a drawing of a meadow. "This one I like better. You can just feel the warmth and happiness in the design pattern." Ino went through all of his drawings pointing out that each of them made one _feel _a certain way. It was incredible to him that he didn't even know what an emotion was, and she could sit here listing them off the top of her head.

That little urge in his stomach that made him think that maybe this time he could grasp an emotion or two with her, so he grabbed the sketch book and flipped the page. "How does this one feel?"

He watched her examine it and a small frown appeared on her face. "Well, it kind of seems to me that it's really angry. The darkness of it. There's a fire in there which could indicate jealousy or insanity or driven hatred." Sai didn't think he wanted to feel that way.

He did remember the day he drew it. It was a day when the young children were teasing him especially much, and running off saying, "Don't worry about hurting his feelings 'cause he doesn't have any!" Was it possible that this was a result from anger at them? Jealousy in knowing that they knew how they felt today? Insanity for wishing so much that he could, too? Hatred for not knowing?

"And this one?" He flipped the page to a bird flying gracefully into the clouds meeting halfway there with another bird.

Ino squinted a bit at it, "It looks like one of the birds is lonely, and the other bird wanted to come cheer him up," she looked up to Sai and genuinely smiled, "Weren't you working on that when I found you yesterday?"

Sai thought back for a minute. She was right. Was it true that he was the lonely bird? Did she really come lift his spirits? He then turned to the picture he had finished just before she arrived. "And this one?" he asked finally.

"This is a cute picture," she beamed brightly, matching the little girl in the picture's perfectly. "Can't you hear that little bird sing?" she giggled to herself, "The children look happy, and that one looks like me! Sai-kun, did you model her after me?"

Sai took a closer look at the picture and compared the little girl in the picture to the girl in front of him. The picture was in black and white, but she did have multiple similarities. "I guess so," he replied.

Ino smiled brightly and examined the picture more. "The boy looks a little bit like you, too," she states, "Awww, Sai, it looks like you like me in this picture!"

Sai thought of this. If like meant that he wanted her to stay with him for a while, then who was he to disagree with this? He was just glad to actually know what they felt like. He was _glad._ "Yeah, I think I do," he nodded quietly.

Ino smiled at him and he found himself actually smiling back, a real-deal smile. Sighing, Ino looked back at the sketchbook. "I _love _this picture!"

There was that word again. There was that unclassified feeling. "What is love, Ino?"

Ino blinked seriously and looked to the sky thoughtful. "Well," she started, "you'll know by the way your palms get all sweaty, your stomach does backflips, and you feel like you want to hurl."

Sai nodded, confusedly, "Love doesn't sound very nice."

Ino giggled, "It can be so beautiful, too, though! Why, do you think you may love someone?" Her voice was playful, obviously teasing him.

"Yes," Sai said with a stern nod, "you." Ino's mouth fell agape slightly, and she seemed to question him with her eyes. "I only know how I feel when you're near. All the rest of the time I'm just ignorant."

"Well, I feel ignorant," Ino said with a half smile.

"Why?"

"Because I think I love you, too."

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_Be gentle, first SaiIno here! PS: I'm living in America, so I am what I own. **I don't own Naruto**, therefore I am not. Dattebayo._


End file.
